For the past three years, I have been looking for a place where I can be myself. I have been in and out of several different groups. I have realized I have to create my own community. This is because as a healing and growing person, my needs and interests are constantly shifting. I have realized how unhealthy it is for me specifically to stay in one group for too long. The biggest hurdle right now was leaving Homeschoolers Anonymous. That group is amazing for helping those who are trying to break free of their abusive upbringing. But that group has not helped me push forward with my life. I have moved past the things they discuss and I don’t fit there anymore. This is the conclusion I’ve reached. They are not a bad group and I deeply respect the leaders of HA for doing so much hard work to make sure the up and coming generations of homeschoolers have a chance to make it.
I am pulling forward with my life. I want to no longer be defined as the weirdo who grew up with 9 siblings, was homeschooled, and my parents abused me. Yes, I am an abuse survivor. Yes, I have a chronic illness that I am constantly adjusting to and learning how to function with. Yes, I am not on speaking terms whatsoever with my parents. I am happier when I put the past in the past where it belongs. I am not defined by the abuse I suffered. I am happy with the choices I am making in life. I am happy with who I am becoming, the business opportunities I have, and the family I am creating. I am happy with how I have and am continuing to heal.
So I am changing. I am going to be renaming my blog here. The new name will be C.M. Royer instead of Profligate Truth. I have found my truth, it is not missing anymore, and I know my way forward now.
My posts from now on will be about my life currently. Things Ender is learning, or how my book is coming along. My past needs to stay in the past. I have chosen to join a company which I know a lot of people in my friends list on Facebook disagree a lot with. I am tired of being told what I should or shouldn’t post on social media. Today I am putting my foot down, grabbing my life and owning it.
In leaving, I only ask you seriously take a look at how you can move forward with your life. Don’t waste time. Don’t let years go by without taking advantage of the life you have now. Regret the time you’ve lost. Allow yourself the space to mourn. But then move forward. Go see a therapist. Take therapy seriously and hear the hard things. Find the positive, grab hold of the dreams you have never dreamed. Be a person you are proud of being. It’s all up to you. It was all up to me, no one else could change my life. No one else can change your life.
I am excited about my life. I have so many opportunities now with moving forward. I have gotten the help I needed, and am constantly looking to become even stronger. Farewell Profligate Truth. You were what I needed to heal, and now it’s time to say goodbye. You helped many people, but now I am closing the door.
